Returning to the Past – 58th Part
Sacrificing all my clothes was really not easy.
I had to face the reality that I had to live because of the sacrifice. And the reality was that now I did not even have clothes to wear around the house. I went to church, in my uniform always. When I went out for any reason I went in my assistant uniform.
Through this sacrifice I even had to contradict my ideals. Since my early childhood, my mother always dressed us in the best clothes when we went to a church meeting. And now, because I had no clothes to wear to church I felt ashamed.
Gradually, I bought more youthful clothes, which was the most economical way I could buy new clothes. I had to make a true investment, which included getting my clothes tailored. However, even though I was buying new clothes I was not pleased with any of them, because I missed my old clothes. It seems that no money in the world could buy the clothing I previously had.
The clothes I bought were in fact much lower quality than the ones I had, because this was all I could afford at that time. Most of the clothing items I bought were blouses and casual pants. It was all I could buy at the time.
When I was with the wives they were well dressed and that made me feel embarrassed. Now it was time for me to see others have more than me. In a way, this was something I needed to go through. After all, my selfishness had to be confronted.
It’s amazing how before fulfilling my vow, I had given away some clothing items that I had lost interest in. Now in the situation I was in, those items seemed so beautiful.
It seems silly to those reading this post, but for me it was a learning experience in which I confronted my selfishness. I’m not perfect, and certainly there my vanity was shattered.
To further shatter my selfishness, I took all the items I liked and made an outfit for the people to buy, because if someone bought a beautiful item but did not know how to use it, it would not break down my ego. That was the reality! Therefore, I personally made the outfits for the people to wear.
This contradicted me even further, but I knew it was necessary. I needed this.
I learned so many lessons since the day I sacrificed. I learned not to care so much about my vanities; instead I started to give more importance to the living Word inside me than just knowledge.
And in a way, it was great to have gone through that experience. After all, sacrifice teaches us to stop worrying about petty things that have no value. Only those who truly give up those things can understand this.
I see that it is always necessary for us to learn and to often give up material things, because if not we can become materialistic.
Every time I sacrificed something that was of value to me, it lost its value. Today, if I have something, it is because of necessity, but it is not something that I worry about. Thank God for the sacrifices we learn in the Universal Church and the Bible.