Returning to the Past – 77th Part
After I finished packing everything, I finally arrived in Portugal.
At first, I was a bit disoriented because of the size of the work waiting for me. I was leaving a country that had 19 churches, to take care of one with over 100 churches. I imagined that when I arrived I would have the wife who was there before me to guide me, but she left for her new mission and left me no reference.
I imagined a very crowded church with people of great faith, but I found it in a very different situation. However, that was no reason for me to be discouraged, on the contrary, this is what motivated me to work with more dedication. The fire of the sacrifice I had presented in the last campaign of Israel still burned inside of me like a burning flame inside a tabernacle.
I saw there before me many opportunities to glorify the Lord Jesus in that place. In addition to the church work, I had to do the Women’s program, and I was already thinking about the wives who, along with me, would be part of it.
I was looking for a wife who would fit this role. I frequently thought: “How could I do that? There were almost 200 wives. How could I find anyone in such a short time to be there as a friend and talk about such profound matters? ”
I was attentive to everyone around me, and all the time, asking God to help me find that person.
I’m a little reserved when I don’t know anyone. I’m not outgoing, I can’t just go and talk to everyone. I stay to myself until I get to know people and feel secure. And I remember there was this wife who was the most present of all. She introduced me to everything in the church. She was very nice, outgoing, very caring and funny. She had all the human characteristics that I would identify myself with. I figured she could help me with the program, but there was something that did not give me this security, it seemed that her spirit did not connect with mine. Even so, I respected her a lot because after all, we are not always right about our assumptions. And this story was just the beginning…
Besides all the challenges that I was presented with in Portugal, I still felt like I was invading the place. Without knowing anything or anyone, I had been sent there with the responsibility to be used by God to lead and guide those people. But that is how the Work of God is!
I didn’t feel worthy of being there. I didn’t see that greater responsibility as a reward. That was not what mattered to me. I remember when I left England, someone came to, gave me a hug and happily said: “You have been blessed!” Immediately I rebuked those words inside me because I knew that position, status, and greater responsibilities didn’t mean that I was being blessed. I have always believed that what proves God’s blessing in my life is not what happens on the outside but on the inside.
I felt like a little girl in front of such a great responsibility. But the Spirit that was inside me didn’t let me be intimidated, It made me look at that situation and by faith project what would have to be done.
And that’s what started to happen…