Going Back to the Past – Part 3
Júlio and I were always together. I would go to the Radio program with him early in the mornings and we would go to sleep between 2 or 3 in the morning. We did not always eat breakfast because we would still be resting.
I lived in a dream. I was married with a man of God, and I was together with him in the Work of God. During this time, in Portugal, I was living with my parents. My mother had a house keeper that would take of take of the home. But even so, my mother never stopped orienting me on how to take care of my “little things”: clothes, room, and cleaning. I would do everything that I could, in accordance to my mother’s orientation that she gave me.
Life was wonderful to live. The experience of waking up next to my prince, the fact of going to the church with him, and organizing the whole church. It was something that I always had the disposition to do. But it wasn’t everything. I was missing something: working during meetings, counseling, and involving myself with the people.
But how to do that? A Pastor’s wife did not work in church meetings.
I even looked for ways to maintain in constant activity: I would do meetings with the assistants in Estoril (a city in Portugal). And I even started doing some meetings with the people, with my father’s permission.
But I was still missing something.
I was still feeling very useless compared to what I wanted to do. I would always remember my days as an assistant, how I would arrive at home satisfied and exhausted of working and saving souls: Counseling, praying for people who manifested with demons, etc. I would arrive happy as can be! I was really doing something that I liked and that I was called to do,
The meetings that I would do would always have a direction. The Word of God is very strong, etc. But I was missing credit. Credit with those who were listening to me.
I was still a little girl with 17 years of age, baptized with the Holy Spirit. But even so, I still had many things to bring into existence in my life. I always loved reading the Bible. I would always take advantage of this and I would interpret it “perfectly”, and I had spirit. But experience with that Word, I couldn’t say that I had any.
The day I was baptized with the Holy Spirit, when I was 15, I received this inner strength that made me feel “all-powerful”. I didn’t see the problems that I would face that could become an obstacle for me. I had this certainty, love, peace, and jubilee so great, that it looked liked I never faced any difficulties in my life. Everything I would overcome super naturally.
But that was not the case…
The Word of God would come to existence inside of me, still, through the many “tests” and “deserts”, etc. that I would face.
I would try to find some way to serve better when I was an assistant. I would search some way to evangelize. But in Europe, things were not like they were in Brazil, where I first started to evangelize.
I couldn’t go out and give hand-outs. But my will was to give that hand-out and speak very loudly so that all would pay attention to me, and that’s where I would begin to speak about the “Great Opportunity”. But it was still fun, and it still is today.
I was always “on the hunt” to serve God. I did not conform myself to just being married to a pastor, because I wanted to make part of the day-to-day in the Work of God.
When a married pastor would come to help my husband, I would try to give my best to his wife. I would try to take care of her in the way that I knew how. I loved to serve in the same way that my sister did with me.
I made some friendships in Portugal. I passed through some difficult moments in the Work of God of which I will develop more in the following part of the diary….