Going back to the Past – 9th Part
South Africa was a country where I stayed in for a year and a half. It was the country where my errors were shown to me, concerning what was inside of me, beyond the jealousy that I discovered in Portugal.
I was in Johannesburg two times and in Cape Town two times as well within the one year and a half that I was in the country.
Right in the beginning of my arrival in South Africa, things happened that were the most difficult to handle, and came with very deep roots. One of which came from a comment where a wife had said, “Wow your mom likes your sister more than you! She is so close to your sister!” The comment went something along those lines in relation to my sister and I.
Upon hearing those words, it was like a shot to my heart.
I became desperately sad. My facial expressions changed and I went to my room to cry. The more I cried, the more nothing happened to resolve the hole that was inside of me. The wife’s words sounded so true, because in reality when my eyes observed what was around me, I saw my mom’s happiness, the way she spoke with Cris; she got along better with her than with me.
Wow, how those words created roots! I never in my life heard anyone say that. I believed in the wife’s words. Those words opened my eyes to evil.
That night Júlio asked me what was wrong, I was so sad. I told him what the wife said, and he said that I should take that question to my parents.
And I actually went to their bedroom at night, knocked on the door, and I entered ready to let off some steam. I entered in tears. And worried they asked me, “What happened?”
When they asked me, I asked them, “Dad, Mom, do you love Cris more than me?”
They were surprised at the question and the way that I was determined to vent and talk.
And they said, “No, my daughter, we love you both equally.” And I said, “The wife said that mom loves Cris more than me!”
Immediately my father, furious, asked, “Who told you that? Tell me!”
And I said who it was. And he rebuked the dirty thoughts that were in my head, that were malicious.
Incredible! I never thought of it that way, but when I heard the wife’s comment, I really came to hear and believe and notice that everything was testifying to what the wife had said.
The next day, my father scolded the wife.
And in fact, my parents were happy when Cris arrived. It was actually the first time that the family was altogether, reunited after we, the daughters, had gotten married.
My parents had already lived with me. But it was the first time that Cris lived with us.
It was normal, after months, to celebrate and express happiness to Cris, The nostalgia was too much.
And it went away, the impression I had.
The devil is smart. He knows that everything depends on how we see the situation. Sometimes we don’t see, but he uses people to bring words of death, just so we can have bad eyes and to separate us from the Light.
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!” (Matthew 6: 22-23)
And in a situation like this, it is well defined in who we prioritize: the Word of God or the wife’s words.